I’m not happy, but I’ll be content with content.
Observe Carefully
Then, give them the devil with the details.
Because that’s what matters.
If I can tell you facebook uses fa01289 as its natural blue, which side of your face is more relaxed because of the wideset jaw, that 1/4 CCDs contain only 1/15ish of the info 35mm film can,
that I can tell by your facebook chat that because we don’t talk online you have no idea how to talk to me online, that your voice is full and fills my ears at 7:00 pm with lounging side-by-side, the soft scent of cushion permeated with raucous shouts in front of us, that your every utterance can only make me more fully realize that every single idea is connected, not by lip service, not by generalities, but by that ball of radiating truth, by detailed focus and presence,
understanding that if everything is important, than the details of my mixed-up life, my struggle to find individualism within a thousand stories that jingle through my head, with characters able to find eventual good and triumph over their internal doubts and miseries and with a dissatisfaction at the lack of a good plot or any plot at all, the importance of understanding that generally, yes, this is the story. But only if you see it generally.
Only if you mistake generalities for the bulk of the story, as if life is lived in chunks of time, of the best experiences, of the last remembrances and anecdotes following an exquisite meal,
rather than the seconds through which we live, where our steaks our devoured with the pleasure of hearing another tale about the ridiculousness of the latest pairings of our acquaintances, where our joints crack and ache and release pleasure with every ten seconds, where the sun beats us with 240 joules per second for every square meter of our being, where we wonder about the color facebook uses blue and leave it made up because the idea remains, where we wonder if people are worth it, which they obviously are, if even the rocks are worth it.
The world demands that you be here, that you give yourself to being on this planet, that you enjoy yourself by losing yourself in the woodwork, the pixels, the letter strokes, the fleeting steps we take.
Learn what it all means. Forget what it could.
Guys, This is Serious Business
Should I take off a number of my videos from YouTube in order to become a partner and not have to worry about copyright infringement while at the same time making small amounts of money doing something I really enjoy?
OR
Keep my integrity, as well as a number videos that I really enjoy, on the site for numerous more people to experience?
Ode to Notifications
Sometimes I worry about the red flag
Encasing the white “1”
That appears in the cold of the night as I cross-legged sit upon this chair waiting for diversions.
Because
Sometimes you refresh
To the same page
Without any explanation for the failure of new secrets to explain themselves across the screen
And though
Explanations point
To a system failure
I can’t help but wonder if there’s human error involved instead that hurries away that vital piece of you that’s new
As if
Sometime you declared
Your thoughts
Only to redact them a second later back to the security of your private storage system to quietly fade
While
Out here
The Red Flag
Asks of us, “What could I have been? What has been lost to you? What would you have done anyway?”
Poem: Proverbs of Jake
1. Talk is cheap, fast, and good.
2. If you have no meaningful goals in life, at least try to act mature in front of cute waitresses or waiters.
3. There is everyday, and then Experiences. Try to enjoy both.
4. Know all the rules. Then you know which ones to break.
5. DO ALL THE THINGS!
6. Become friends with at least two people. Then they’ll always talk about you, and that way you live forever.
7. At least on New Year’s Eve you can just assume all the drivers at 3 a.m. are drunk.
8. The difference between the successful and the unsuccessful is that the successful prepare for their last-minute projects.
9. The internet lies perfectly between what you want to do and what you need to do.
10. There’s not too much to say; just not enough said.
11. Everything that ever was shapes us.
12. We’re such desperate people.
Day 14 of ‘12, Thoughts on What’s True and What’s Wrong
There is something distinctly unsatisfying in my life right now that can only be drowned out by movies but is being uncovered by the play-writing and IA re-research that is occurring.
What is true is that I don’t think I’ve done a single true act of charity.
What is true is that I expect quality work with minimal effort.
What is true is that neither of these things can be expressed as I head off to college and my future.
What can be inferred is that I’m a selfish prick who expects life to be handed to him on a silver platter, and when it won’t, I’m going to die wishing I had done it all differently.
Trouble is, I’m entirely okay with being a selfish prick. Why bother with the world? I’m not doing anything to harm it, and so the world should expect nothing more from me.
When have I ever bothered to help feed the homeless, or offered to help out with the lack of judges on speech and debate? Where was I when the sick were coughing in their hospital beds, or when someone asked me to support their slam poetry?
What am I doing up 3:00 a.m. and thinking that 1000 words will be a cinch to write? What have I been doing for all of my schooling, taking on what I believe no one else could do as well as I and then blowing it off until the very last moments?
I fully believe in the saying that the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference, and my life is full of it.
And so the description and bane of my life: So it goes. Let it be. Nothing to be done.
What a nice way to enter my adult life.
Is It Okay
if I can just be super interested in the exceptional life of another person I know
and not have things be weird
by the total lack of any type of relationship between us?
A corner of my room.
